Dreaded Monday

I feel horrible today.

I started out pretty well with a 4 mi run in the morning. A friend who plans on doing cross country this year joined us. It was nice to have a chance to talk since we've not hung out since school ended 3 weeks ago. I also got a call from another friend and we decided to meet up at my house. Of course, that led to me eating since it was noon time and we ended up having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Then the bad news just kept on coming. My mom arrived at the house, and we noticed one of our German shepherd dog limping. the cut that he has on his foot just took a turn for the worst--it oozed blood and pus and *shutters* I didn't want to see it. We ended up taking him to the vet to see what happened.

The veterinarian hypothesized that something might have lodged inside the wound. The best way to know (and remove it) would be surgery. This is planned to happen on Wednesday morning. I don't know if this is what triggered my binge, but I did a horrible episode in the evening. I did a lot of chew-and-spit and a lot of gorging on food to the point where I want to (and did) throw up. I feel ashamed about that. It's not normal. It's disgusting. But it's uncontrollable. I'm afraid to weigh myself tonight. My stomach still hurts, and perhaps that's enough of a punishment for me. That, and the fact that I'm now fatter.